Christmas, and the drawing to a close of one year – and in this case – a decade, can bring up all sorts of thoughts, reflections and emotions in us.
Couple that with end of term-tiredness of children for those parents among you, organising Christmas and navigating any family-based tensions that this can induce plus as vets still working when most people are taking a Christmas break, and there can be a fair few wobbly moments around this time of year!
These can come in the form of clinical self-doubt, career and life direction doubt or interpersonal relationship challenges for example.
I had to navigate my own wobbly moment earlier this month thanks to reaching the next phase of growth and evolution of Vet Harmony.
This involved running the first of two live Masterclass webinars ahead of the launch of my new group coaching course coming in January.
I’ve done a ton of webinars in the past, but always on other people’s platforms, such as Webinar Vet. This time, it was for my own business, set by myself and for my own audience whom I care about deeply. I’ve always been hosted on webinars before, so you just rock up and share your slides and the tech is managed for you. This time I was going to be running the tech by myself for the first time. No support team, no partner, just little old me in my home office!
So fairly understandably, I was a wee bit nervous on the day going into the live session and feeling a bit wobbly as well as excited.
What was interesting for me to observe however, was the MASSIVE difference in how I now handle stuff like that, compared the me of old.
Previously, this is what would have occurred if an event at work or in personal life triggered feelings of wobbliness/self-doubt/insecurity/nerves etc.
Old me:
- Thinks that I shouldn’t wobble
- Takes wobbly feelings as evidence of being crap/not good enough
- Start comparing myself to everyone else who clearly isn’t wobbling and feel crap
- Respond by backing out of situation or avoiding it if at all possible
- Alternatively become so ‘busy’ that don’t have time to do the thing causing the wobble
- Self-esteem taken another hit and now a wee bit lower as a result
I don’t know if this is ringing any bells, but it’s definitely how I used to feel. Especially when it came to second-guessing my clinical decisions or anything not going well on a case.
However, this is NOT what happened to me on Tuesday in the run up to the webinar.
New me:
I reflected back on it afterwards and realised this is how the new me handled it:
- Recognised the wobble but didn’t judge myself or overly attach any story to it
- Went into self-soothing, self-compassion mode and knew that other people would feel exactly the same rather than feeling ‘less than’ for having a wobble
- Did some breathing exercises and moved my body to dissipate the stress hormones
- Released my attachment to the success or failure of the outcome and reminded myself that my self-worth is not attached to anything like that, and I am a valuable human being irrespective of my wins or failures, therefore it’s safe to me to mess things up
- Shifted to a place of service and reminded myself that this isn’t about me, it’s about me connecting with and helping the people that I serve, imperfectly and wholeheartedly, and I can help people without getting it ‘right’ 100% of the time
I also trusted in my ability to tolerate the discomfort of the wobble and take the action anyway, and then went live and really enjoyed presenting and interacting with everyone, and got great feedback!
What has created the difference between the old me and new me?
I have to say hands down it has been what I’ve learned and been stretched to grow into mindset-wise by my coaches and mentors.
That’s the really interesting thing about coaching for me, in that we usually seek it out when we’re looking for strategic or directional guidance on a goal or career move. And yet it’s often what we learn about ourselves, our self-esteem and mindset that is the most transformational part.
It’s why I’m so super-excited about launching my new course in January, and also why half the course is dedicated to the mindset work required to achieve a black belt in Ninja-Wobble-Mastery! 😉
Because I don’t give a rat’s a**e how many clinical diplomas you’ve got, or whether you’re the head of the RCVS or BVA, or the world’s most highly paid mindset coach – having wobbles is never going to go away, it’s a normal part of the human experience.
Thinking that we could somehow reach a mythical level of self-confidence or qualification where nothing ever wobbles us anymore is a fantasy, the same as perfectionism.
Far, far better to upskill yourself into the resilience and self-love skills needed to weather the wobbles, knowing how amazing you are regardless and that’s what I’m here to help you do!
If you missed the last Masterclass and would like to find out more – I go deep into how we keep ourselves stuck, and then take you through the 6-step process for navigating any life or career transition you may encounter – then you can click here to sign up to register for the next live Masterclass on Tuesday 7th January at 8pm.
I will run through the full details of the January group coaching course I’m launching at the end of the webinar for those interested.
If you’ve read this far, I also want to take this opportunity to say a big THANK YOU to you for being part of my community, reading these posts and staying connected – it means the world to me, and I truly hope that you find useful insights in some of these posts that are helpful. I’ve got tons of fantastic free content planned for 2020 so stay tuned and definitely hop onto the webinar if you’re keen to find out about the group coaching.
I wish you and your families a lovely time this festive season and all the best for 2020 – let’s rock the new decade together! 😀
Jenny. x